we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
