I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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