Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
