just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
