Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You need Xanax blowdarts
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
