She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I did not marry a roomba.
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