You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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