i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
