you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
