hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
