If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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