I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
