Pants 0. Shit 1.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
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