How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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