I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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