yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
be right there i have to get my cape
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
