the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
