he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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