Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
