dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I can't turn off my feet"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
