Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
