I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
