she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I touched a dick in church today
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
