u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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