Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Your penis caused this!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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