I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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