i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
