i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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