Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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