I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
