I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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