it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
