I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Randomize
