Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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