i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
