sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
