u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
