Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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