SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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