Christians are straight up FREAKS
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
