South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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