To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
