Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
