God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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