Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
