She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
