i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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