u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
you never un-have a 4some
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
