Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
