Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I am available for nakedness
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
