My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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