He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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