i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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