I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
