Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Randomize
