She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So vagazzling was a success
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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